Had to add another round to the Airplane series, since yesterday I experienced what is these days a common occurrence. A plane packed liked sardines, with no focus on customer service. Basically get em on the plane, avoid them, and get them off. 

Flew from Atlanta to LA on Delta, and the plane was a 757 (one aisle in the middle, three seats on each side) and the plane was completely full. EVERY seat was taken. It was quite overwhelming. Like when you are standing on an elevator and it is completely full and you are afraid it is going to get stuck and you can’t breathe well. Yikes. 

So I was thinking how could Delta have made this dismal experience a little better? When a flight is over three hours, no matter where the destination, there should be CERTAIN RULES that apply. Here are a few thoughts:

1. On any flights over 3 hours, airlines must use a plane with two aisles. This should be implemented by the FAA, FCC, CNN, ABC, and all major airlines and organizations. Seriously.

2. Has to be tv screens for every person on the flight in the back of the seat in front of you. Please. No more of the middle screen that only shows one thing that everybody has to watch. 

3. On on that note, No LAME movies. Give us something that is worth at least watching if there is absolutely nothing else to do. 

4. On a flight over 3 hrs, don’t make me pay $2 for a freakin set of cheap headphones. Come on.

5. On a flight over 3 hrs, don’t make my pay $8 for a freakin bag of sunchips. That is ridiculous. And at least give me something to snack on besides customized biscoff Delta cookies. 

6. Every hour, there must be mandatory stretching for certain sections of the plane. This should be coordinated by the flight attendants. With exercises that are easily implemented – such as toe curling, neck rubs and firm handshakes.

7. There HAS to be a game coordinated by the pilot that incorporates everyone on the plane, provides entertainment, and takes up at least 30 minutes of time. Could be a mystery game, trivia, or if you are single, a dating game. 

8. Random prizes must be given away every 30 minutes. You might call it door prizes or raffles or whatever, but this would really make the experience better.

9. Mandatory baby sections on flights over three hours. All in the same segment of seats, in the back of the plane, where they can scream together. Maybe white noise through the air filtration system to drown out the screaming if possible. Or a noise canceling wall of some sort. 

10. No flight attendants over 250 lbs. If you are wider than the aisle at your widest point, then you cannot work a flight of more than 3 hrs. I have bruises on my right shoulder from being run into by the flight attendant at least 10 times. 

11. How about a snack/beverage cart that doesn’t have steel reinforcement on the sides that breaks bones and cuts like a butcher knife? Is that a possibility? 

So just a few thoughts to make the experience of a three hour flight or more just a bit more satisfying to the customer. The person who I believe still has a right to ask for a few things. 

I am guessing you’ve had an experience like this recently……